NHL Lockout Causes Couples to Lock in, Like in the Sexy Way
In America, we traditionally see a jump in the NLMI (National Love Makin’ Index) anytime there’s a big blizzard or some other kind of catastrophic weather event that keeps us locked indoors with people who we are attracted to. (Mark our words, in eight months we there will be a bunch of New York babies named Sandy. Poor kids.) Blizzards don’t scare Canadians, though, so up there an NHL lockout is what it takes.
It’s not looking promising that there will be a resolution to the NHL lockout in time for a December 1 puck drop, and we all know how Canadians love their hockey. So what’s a puck-less canuck to do? Hint: it rhymes with several words in the previous sentence.
Canadian sex shop owner Vinay Morker told the Toronto Sun that his boutique enjoyed a 15% jump in sales during October, and he credits the newfound free time of the local Oilers fans:
When Oilers fans, mostly guys, have to break their routine of seeing every game, they have more time, and there’s nothing better than spending it with your spouse or girlfriend.
From that last sentence, it sounds like Morker didn’t pre-order his copy of Black Ops: 2. Either way, if the NHL lockout has left you twiddling your thumbs, sex is definitely a fun alternative to hockey. Wrap it up, though, or you’ll end up with a little baby Stanley.