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Jermaine Jackson To Change His Last Name, Or Rather Just A Single Letter

This is just another testament to how messed up of a childhood these kids had. It seems like one of them is in the news for one reason or another. Welcome to the Jackson Family Restaurant, may I take your order? Yes, I’ll take a nice big helping of quirk with a side of awkward please.

 

Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Their superstar brother got a zillion plastic surgeries, this appears to be 57 year old Jermaine’s version of a reinvention. And no, it isn’t’ to distance himself from his nutso dad or his family which has lived in a glass house for their entire lives. He’s changing it for purely artistic reasons and get this, it’s barely a change at all. Are you ready? Drum roll please… Jermain’s last name (if a judge signs off on it) will soon be:

“Jacksun”

That’s right, Jack-SUN. There are many reasons someone changes their name including getting out from under the bad name of a deadbeat parent, or because their name is hard to pronounce or spell, or in the case of celebrities they may need a stage name, or even for religious reasons. But Jermaine, really?? Almost sounds presumptuous to me as if he thinks he’s as bright as or brighter than the sun. If you’re going to be artistic about it, do it up big time like the Artist Formerly Known As Prince did or Sean P. Puff Puffy Diddy Daddy Swag Combs, or the Ultimate Warrior from WWF wrestling did (can you imagine being his kids and having that legal last name?)

Why are we surprised anyway? I mean Jermaine’s nephew is called Blanket and his own son (or should I say sun) has the unfortunate reality of being named Jermajesty. Welcome to the world son, and my first gift to you is a lifetime of ridicule because I tried too hard to be distinctive. This isn’t the last we’ve heard from the Jacksons (ahem, Jacksuns) as they’ll keep accidentally giving us plenty of blog-fodder for years to come.

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