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Guardian Critic Invokes the All-Caps Wrath of the Cure’s Robert Smith

David Wolff-Patrick, Getty Images

In one of the most blatant offenses against Internet etiquette in history, the Cure singer Robert Smith smashed his Caps Lock button into his computer while responding to a poor review of a recent live performance by the band. The critic, The Guardian’s Caroline Sullivan, called one of the Cure’s recent Teenage Cancer Trust benefit shows “numbing.” Then, in the comments section of the article, she claimed the band liked her review.

Smith responded swiftly through the Cure’s Facebook and Twitter accounts, leaving no room for doubt about the band’s feelings toward the review:

“TO BE CLEAR – AND ON THE BEST AUTHORITY – THE BAND HAVE INDEED READ THE REVIEW – BUT DID NOT LIKE IT!”

Smith then went on, with the Caps Lock light burning vigilantly in the velvet-curtain darkness of his room, to comment on Sullivan’s competence as a writer:

“THE REVIEW WAS – TO PUT IT POLITELY – LAZY NONSENSE… swampy… numbing… yet to work out how to build up a show… GULP!!!”

The situation may well develop into a genuine feud. Sullivan responded with a second article, ‘Why the Cure’s marathon gigs might not be the best way to play,’ defending her argument that the Cure’s sets, which often run over three hours, last too long. She ends with a deceptively rakish comment, saying, “OK, Robert. Buy you a drink?”

Rest assured, Smith answered her question.

“’OK, Robert. Buy you a drink?’… gulp!!!

HONESTLY? ummm… WE WOULD PREFER YOU JUST REVIEWED WITH A TAD MORE UNDERSTANDING AND HONESTY AND CONSIDERING LINES LIKE “Not as scary […] as Robert Smith in full fig” MAYBE THREW A FEW LESS STONES? OR MOVED OUT OF YOUR GLASS HOUSE?!!”

It looks like this drama could be a source of entertainment for a little while yet.

Next: The Cure's Robert Smith Admits New Album Title Is Terrible

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