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Foods You’re Not Allowed To Eat In The Bathroom

Kam Truhn/Facebook

While you’re going to the bathroom generally you sit there, handle your business, and go on your way. Why does going to the bathroom have to be such a boring task? Some people try to mix in eating while on the bowl. Think about it: you could kill two birds with one stone. Other people, the 99.98% of people, don’t think it’s acceptable to eat.  Here’s a list of foods that are never ok to eat while you’re going to the bathroom.

Subs With Cold Cuts

jon_a_ross/flickr

Why should you waste time and space eating a foot-long at your desk? You can hold on to a nice cold cut while sitting on the John. Subs with cold cuts can be good and bad. Meat and cheese provide protein, which is an essential nutrient for maintaining your muscle mass and supporting a strong immune system to fight infections. Avoid setting the sub down, or on the toilet seat, because you may catch an infection. Especially if it’s at a public restroom.

Chicken Wings

DavidSpinks/flickr

You may be at a party and you just want 5 minutes to yourself. Also, you want to eat some wings before everyone steals them. Don’t ever take these into the bathroom. It doesn’t matter if you have a container or not for these. Sauce will be all over your fingers, your fingers will aid in wiping at some point…. this can cause such a huge mess. However the wings may end up back in this room later.

Cheetos

Cheetos/Facebook

We’ve all heard the joke about the guy on his way home from work eating Cheetos and mixing in porn, well here’s another place to never mix in Cheetos. You might think grabbing a quick snack on the way in will save you time, but chances are it won’t. This is a horrible plan. You’re hand will end up a mess, then your bottom will turn dangerously cheesy. Women don’t like two things with a mans butt: swamp “butt” and cheesy butt.

Soup

Glutnix/flickr

Imagine sitting on the toilet eating some hot soup and your spoon moves the wrong way. You just bought yourself a one way ticket to a soup bikini wax. Try explaining that one to the doctors at urgent care! We all know that sometimes when it comes out it may look like a beef stew, but there’s never a reason to attempt to eat this while on the pot.

Meatball Sub

nasikabatrachus/flickr

Everyone has a special family recipe for meatballs. I’m imagining your great grandmother wasn’t walking through the doors of Ellis Island dreaming of an America where you can eat these while going to the bathroom. You don’t want any read sauce dripping down and landing in places it shouldn’t. Also, seeing anything red in the bowl will freak you out.

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos

alexa fades away/flickr

Let’s refresh your memory from earlier on this list. Doritos will turn your fingers all cheesy, no one wants a cheesy bottom. Other factors to consider with this choice: your meat spilling out. Imagine trying to eat taco meat off the seat. Actually scratch that, don’t try to imagine that. I’m betting Taco Bell doesn’t have a sauce packet that says “Wipe From The Front Towards The Back“.

Now of course you should never eat anything in the bathroom, but keep this list in mind next time you even consider eating in the bathroom. What would you add to our list?

 

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