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Let’s say you’re at your local lumber yard, buying wood for some sort of home improvement project. You’re feeling like quite a man, because you’re about to do some work with your hands. In walks a woman, completely nude. Bonus, right? Maybe not so much.

When that exact scenario played out in Curtis Lumber in Ballston, NY on Tuesday, thanks to 49-year old exhibitionist Barbara Lafleur, it was just a really awkward among the two-by-fours.

“No one wanted to say much to her,” Curtis Lumber manager Bob Eakin explained. “It’s not a situation you want to be involved in.”

So, having laid the seeds for many jokes involving the word “wood,” but perhaps not getting the desired reaction from Curtis Lumber’s employees and patrons, Lafleur moved on to a nearby ice cream shop. Again her nudity was not embraced, and she was quickly given the boot by the store’s manager.

That’s about when she was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public lewdness, a crime that could net her up to 90 days in jail. According to LaFleuer, she was just exercising her right to “self-expression.”

We’re going to have to take Ballston community and police force to task for their treatment of LaFleuer. Yes, 49-year old boobies aren’t our favorite kind, but with the harsh treatment of this Lady Godiva wannabe, they have diminished the chances we will ever randomly encounter good nudity during a trip to the lumber yard.

Which makes less likely we will ever build that deck we like to talk about.

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Huffington Post

Is Walmart doing the devil’s bidding? Relax, we’re not talking about its associates policy or pricing strategies. A Forth Worth, Texas customer took her car in for an oil change at the retailer – is there nothing Walmart can’t do or sell, which would make it omnipotent and godlike?- and emerged with Satanic symbols on the undercarriage.

According to the local CBS station, the woman, who is referred to simply as “Jessica,” interacted with a mechanic with “attitude.” He was an MWA — mechanic with attitude. He can start his own Satanic rap group. Sorry, we’re getting off topic here. She claims this mechanic drew a 666, an upside down cross and a pentagram, all symbols associated with Satan and heavy metal bands, with a blue sealant.

She wasn’t made ware of the symbols until another mechanic at a separate location pointed them out later, who recognized the sealant used by the discount mega retailer at most car stations. There wasn’t a clear explanation as to why the mechanic take such a course of action, other than being in league with Lucifer and perhaps tiffing with Jess when she initially brought her wheels in for servicing.

“Who does that?” Jessica said. “I mean, what if it’s a curse?”

Jess, honey, it’s not a curse. It’s just a couple of scary symbols meant to invoke a little fear. It’s not like he’s sacrificing virgins… or is he?

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Kevin Winter, Getty Images

With no official word from the Van Halen camp about the reasons behind yesterday’s sudden postponement of over 30 dates on their summer 2012 tour schedule, speculation has set in, some of it focused on the reportedly testy relationship between David Lee Roth and his bandmates.

Rolling Stone quotes a tour insider as saying that the band members “hate each other,” with another stating that, “The band is arguing like mad. They are fighting.” After ruling the rock world together for much of the late-’70s and early-’80s, the original members of Van Halen famously spent much of the last three decades apart, trading occasional barbs via the press (and dueling album titles) before reuniting sans bassist Michael Anthony for a highly successful tour in 2007.

The band has been on the road since February in support of their first album with Roth in 28 years, ‘A Different Kind of Truth.’ Just last week they added several new dates to their summer tour plans, making the news from yesterday all the more puzzling. (Our current favorite theory involves “a terrible case of hiccups.“)

In one of his few recent interviews in support of the new album and tour, Roth spoke highly of his bandmate, guitar wizard Eddie Van Halen, telling the Los Angeles Times, “There’s an old Russian saying: ‘There’s no more lines in that guy’s stomach.’ It means somebody got fat and slow. There are still a lot of lines in Eddie’s stomach.”

Van Halen returned the favor last month in Esquire, declaring of Roth, “We never really hated each other. I think the press blew that out of proportion… if we argued — you know, now it’s always about, about the structure of a song. It’s never personal. We’ve never on a personal level not gotten along.”

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Source: UltimateClassicRock.com

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It’s hard not to envy LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell (Just hear us out, OK?). Not only do they reap ungodly amounts of cash and fame playing cops & robbers on CBS (Which I know is a network, because Nana Moody says it is), they also get to hang out with Portugese-American goddess Daniela Ruah every day.

Ruah plays Special Agent Kensi Blye on ‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ (which we like to call “that mega-popular show that no one I know watches”). She’s probably the only reason we’ve tuned in to watch the ‘NCIS’ spinoff every now and then. We can’t deny the allure of a tall, tough, sexy leading lady who shoots big ass guns and trashes sports cars.

The lovely 28-year-old actress, who has a distinguishable birthmark in her right eye, was born in Boston but was raised in her parents’ home country of Portugal. After graduating from London Metropolitan University, Ruah became a film and TV star in Portugal, where she won the country’s version of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ in 2005.

Ruah, who speaks Portugese, Spanish and (of course) English, moved to New York to study acting in 2007 and landed the role of Kensi Blye on ‘NCIS: LA’ two years later. The show just wrapped one of its biggest events – a two-part crossover with CBS’ ‘Hawaii Five-0’ revamp.

If you haven’t caught Ruah on the small screen yet, don’t worry, her show isn’t going anywhere. ‘NCIS: LA’ is still one of the TV’s top-rated series. Here’s hoping CBS pulls the trigger on our Special Agent Blye –centered spinoff idea: ‘NCIS: South Beach.’

Twitter / @DanielaRauh

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Dimension Films

Good news for those of you who have been waiting years and years for that ‘Sin City’ sequel to finally start production — it will and two of the big name stars from the Robert Rodriguez film will be coming back for the sequel.

Jessica Alba and Mickey Rourke will return for the now officially titled ‘Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame To Kill For.’ The sequel is going to start shooting this summer with Rodriguez returning to direct based on a script by ‘The Departed’ writer William Monahan. Rodiguez will start shooting once he wraps work on ‘Machete Kills’ which is currently filming.

According to the Dimension Films, the movie will start shooting this summer and big names are expected to be announced soon which means more of the original cast is likely to return. The sequel has a release date of October 4th, 2013, which puts it up against the yet-to-be announced Disney project by Henry Selick (probably ‘The Graveyard Book’).

Whether or not Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Benecio Del Toro or Elijah Wood return remains to be seen. As long as Alba wears super tight inappropriate tops, it doesn’t really matter who else comes back.

Source: ScreenCrush.com

YouTube

In 2005, the members of Pink Floyd set aside their decades-long feud with exiled founding member Roger Waters and came together for a momentous (and, as it turned out, final) performance at Live 8.

Keyboard player Richard Wright’s death in 2008 closed the door on any further Floyd reunions, but the performance has led to a handful of collaborations between the surviving members — such as the 2011 concert where Waters was briefly joined by David Gilmour and Nick Mason. Now, thanks to the band’s YouTube channel, you can see some of the moments leading up to the show.

The black-and-white video offers a six-minute window into preparations for the performance, including moments both humorous (Seeing David Gilmour on top of the Wall, Waters good-naturedly quips “try not to dive off”) and heartfelt (the shot of Gilmour resting his head against Waters, captured above).

All in all, it’s a touching tribute to the way music can form a lasting bond — stronger than time, distance, or years of public acrimony. While the video is cast under the undeniably poignant shadow of Wright’s death, it’s still wonderful to see the guys letting go of old grudges and coming together to do what they do best. Whether or not you’re a Pink Floyd fan, the clip is worth watching — check it out below.

Pink Floyd Behind The Scenes: O2 Arena 2011

Source: UltimateClassicRock.com

The pic (not shown

Photo by Facebook.com/thebeatles

), which shows the Fab Four walking across the Abbey Rd. crossing in the opposite direction than depicted in the photo used for the classic 1970 LP’s cover, will be up for bid on Tuesday, May 22, at Bloomsbury Auctions in London.  The print is expected to fetch between 7,000 and 9,000 pounds or about $11,200 to $14,400.

The picture was one of several snapped during the shoot by late photographer Iain Macmillan.  Paul McCartney came up with the concept for the image.

“Macmillan had 10 minutes to do the shoot and he took six photographs of The Beatles walking backwards and forwards across the zebra crossing,” Bloomsbury Auctions rep Sarah Wheeler explains about the shoot.  “He was standing up a ladder to take the pictures.”

YouTube

This Friday let’s take a drive back to 1964 with our favorite spooky family, The Munsters. Today’s classic car is the famous Munsters Koach.

The Koach was made from 3 Model T bodies and is 18 feet long. The 133″ frame was made by hand. It has a four speed manual transmission and a power rear end. The brass radiator and fenders were hand formed. In 1964, the cost to build the first one was $18,000.00. It had “blood red” velvet interior. It took 500 hours to hand form the ornate rolled steel scrollwork. It had Gloss Black Pearl paint. The front end had a dropped axle, split radius rods and T springs. The studio gave George Barris 21 days to complete the car. There are 2 Barris Koach’s.”

[via munsterkoach]

YouTube

I’m pretty sad that the nearest Hooters to us is in Albany. However, if the girls out there did tricks like this while they were serving you your wings, I guaranteed that’d be rich. 

Who ever would have guessed you can get dinner and a show at Hooters? VA Hooters Girl, Heather, takes hula hooping to a whole new level.

[via Banana 101.5]

Oneida County Public Market

With all the recent unpopular coverage of Utica, it’s time for some good news. How about good news in the form of shopping?  The Oneida Public Market is opening for business in the Railway Express Agency, “REA,” Wing of Union Station on Bagg’s Square.

Imagine a bustling marketplace of homegrown Central New York goods on a sunny afternoon. Well, that’s the vision of the new Oneida County Public Market, located in the heart of Downtown Utica. On Saturdays thru summer and into fall, this new gathering place will be a hub for the sale of fresh and unique products and a festival-like atmosphere of entertainment, art and family.”

WIBX is reporting that the County has invested about $312,000 to renovate the facility. Currently there are just under thirty vendors who have signed on, and that list is looking to grow.

The market will be open Saturdays beginning June 16,2012 from 9:00am to 1:00pm. For rules, maps, and a vendor fee schedule visit: www.oneidacountymarket.com.”

If you’d like to be part of this new market, click here.

[via WIBX]

Tramontane Cafe

Of course this morning driving in I was lucky enough to have a mug of coffee, and of course, spill it all over myself. It made a mess, and life goes on. I love when people always tell you how bad coffee is. Guess what? You’re wrong my friends.

According to a new study, people who drink coffee are more likely to live longer. Interesting right? Also, it doesn’t matter if it’s regular or decaf. Researchers found that each cup of coffee per day increases the chances of living longer.

Now of course with these kind of studies there is always a downside. Coffee drinkers are more likely to smoke, drink more alcohol, eat more red meat and exercise less than non-coffee-drinkers, so those chances of living longer end up getting nudged back down again. So, if you do any of those bad habits you probably just cancelled out the positive effects of coffee.

If you’re a coffee drinker and you can cut out all the other bad stuff, you’re in great shape. So next time someone says “Do you know how bad drinking coffee every day is?”, you can just smile and sip your Joe.

[via Fox News]

Bryan Bedder / Ethan Miller, Getty Images

Here’s a look at some notable birthdays being celebrated today:

George Strait
Age: 60
Occupation: Singer, Songwriter and Musician
Known For: A slew of country hits including ‘Fool Hearted Memory,’ ‘Ocean Front Property,’ ‘She’ll Leave You with a Smile’ and ‘You’ll Be There,’ dozens of industry awards, holding the record for the most No. 1 hits on the Billboard Country charts, and holding the record for most No. 1 albums, gold albums, and platinum albums in the history of country music

Tina Fey
Age: 42
Occupation: Actor, Writer and Comedic Genius
Known For: Her brilliant work as both a writer and performer on ‘Saturday Night Live’ and ’30 Rock,’ penning the screenplay for the movie ‘Mean Girls,’ her spot-on portrayal of Sarah Palin on ‘SNL,’ writing the hilarious bestseller ‘Bossypants,’ being the youngest-ever winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, and being an icon for smart, funny women everywhere

Joe Bonsall
Age: 64
Occupation: Singer and Author
Known For: Being one of the singers for the Oak Ridge Boys, which had country and crossover singles like ‘Elvira,’ ‘Bobbie Sue’ and ‘American Made,’ and writing books like ‘The Molly Books’ children’s series and ‘GI Joe and Lillie’

Chow Yun-fat
Age: 57
Occupation: Actor
Known For: His role as Li Mu-bai in ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,’ his Asian film collaborations with filmmaker John Woo in the heroic bloodshed genre films ‘A Better Tomorrow,’ ‘The Killer’ and ‘Hard Boiled,’ and voiceover work for the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End’ and ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ video games

Jack Johnson
Age: 37
Occupation: Singer, Songwriter and Musician
Known For: His successful debut album, ‘Brushfire Fairytales,’ his work on surfing movies and soundtracks, being the organizer of the annual Kōkua Festival, and songs like ‘Better Together,’ ‘Flake’ and ‘You and Your Heart’

National Gallery of Art

Here’s a look at some interesting events that took place on this day in history:

1804 – Napoleon Bonaparte is proclaimed Emperor of the French (More info)

1896 – The US Supreme Court rules in Plessy v. Ferguson that “separate but equal” is constitutional (More info)

1933 – President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs an act creating the Tennessee Valley Authority (More info)

1980 – Mount St. Helens in Washington state erupts after being dormant for 123 years (More info)

2004 – Randy Johnson, age 40, becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a perfect game (More info)

Ethan Miller, Getty Images

Disco legend Donna Summer has died after a battle with cancer, TMZ is reporting. She was 63 years old.

Insiders say she wanted to keep the disease quiet, and a friend said that as recently as two weeks ago, Summer seemed okay and was even finishing up work on a new album.

The five-time Grammy winner shot to fame in the 1970s with songs like ‘Love to Love You Baby,’ ‘Hot Stuff’ and ‘Bad Girls,’ and continued her reign on radio airwaves into the ’80s with hits including ‘She Works Hard for the Money’ and ‘This Time I Know It’s for Real.’

Summer was also the first artist to have three consecutive double albums reach No. 1 on the US Billboard chart.

[TMZ]

Maxim

May 12th was Malin’s 34th birthday. The Canadian actress of Swedish descent got into modeling and acting at the age of 5, and actually won the Ford Model Search in Canada at 17. The Great White North decided to keep her from us until she portrayed Freak Show’s wife in 2004′s ‘Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle’. Now, we can’t look at Oreo’s Double Stuff without getting awkwardly aroused.

Unfortunately, we’d have to wait a whole three years before we got to see her first starring role as Ben Stiller’s rebound wife in ‘The Heartbreak Kid’. We can’t fault Ben’s character for rushing into the holy bonds with that bombshell.

She made us question Vince Vaughn’s sexuality in 2009′s ‘Couples Retreat’ and she had our Nite Owl hooting in ‘Watchmen’.

What sets her apart from most smokeshows is her comical side, which is on full display as Dr. Valerie Flame in Adult Swim’s late night series ‘Children’s Hospital’.

Recently, she’s appeared on the covers of Maxim’s May 2012 issue and Shape’s June 2012 issue. She’s also been spotted at the Tribeca Film Festival and a host of other red carpet screenings of blockbuster movies

We’re looking forward to her roles in ‘Rock of Ages’ and ‘Stolen’, but we’re feverishly pressing fast forward to catch her playing Linda Lovelace in the porn star’s biopic set to release in 2013 (even though it might not happen).

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The officer approaches the stopped vehicle, and even though you can’t hear what’s happening, based on your own experiences, you can probably assume he’s telling the driver why he’s pulled him over.  As is the standard practice, he appears to get the driver’s identification and is probably headed back to his vehicle to write up the ticket. Again, very typical in this type of situation, other than the fact that he seems to be a plain clothes officer of some kind.

This is when it gets weird. Suddenly, out of the offending vehicle rushes not a man, but a polar bear/human hybrid of some kind. Oh, but not just any polar bear person, a somewhat intoxicated polar bear person who seems to think it’s a good idea to run erratically toward a cop.

Fortunately, the officer has seen enough nature shows to know exactly what to do in this situation and the polar bear person is restrained. The officer has to be careful though, because polar bears are an endangered species.

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stringy, Flickr

We all know that sugar can make you fat. But we eat it anyway because it’s really good.

So what if we were to tell you sugar can also make you dumb? Would you put down your Big Gulp and step away from your Snickers?

Researchers at UCLA trained lab rats to navigate a complicated maze. Then they fed half of the rodents a steady diet of high-fructose corn syrup for six weeks. When that was over the rodents who got the sugar high couldn’t remember how to complete the maze, whereas the rats who ate a more normal diet were still able to.

After running brain scans on the rodents, the researchers concluded that too much sugar changes their insulin levels, which in turn affects the brain’s ability to function efficiently.

“Because insulin can penetrate the blood-brain barrier, the hormone may signal neurons to trigger reactions that disrupt learning and cause memory loss,” one of the researchers explained.

Or, in layman’s terms “Sugar make stupid.”

Source: TheFW.com

hubbers, flickr

Before men had the luxury of using internet porn to appease their animalistic urges, they apparently engraved “Hoo-Ha” images on rocks for sexual posterity. That’s right; according to a recent archeological discovery in southern France it is now believed that the earliest smut magazine may have been nothing more than a 3,000-pound block of limestone.

The National Academy of Sciences reveals that this discovery of engravings and paintings, believed to have been done by members of Aurignacian culture, was created 37,000 years ago. This makes them slightly older than the world’s earliest known cave art found in southeastern France.

While some motifs found at the site consisted of “zoomorphic” and “geometric” engravings, multiple images of the female vulva as well as many additional images of the female sex anatomy were also found.

According to Nicholas Conrad, a paleoanthropologist at the University of Tübingen who reported the find, the sex organ art found in southern France resembles a figurine found in a southwestern German cave depicting a woman with “large projecting breasts” and a pronounced vulva and labia majora visible between the woman’s legs.

“All place an emphasis on sexual attributes and lack emphasis on the legs, arms, face and head, made all the more noticeable in this case because a carefully carved, polished ring — suggesting that the figurine was once suspended as a pendant — exists in place of a head.”

He also adds that although the images found recently in France are similar in style to those found in Germany, it remains unclear whether men or women created the artwork or if it was used for ritualistic purposes.

When it came time to get down to business, how did they get the giant rocks into the bathroom?

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