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Edible Erotic Gifts In Time For Valentines Day

Obviously, for Valentine’s Day, you’re going to buy some kind of erotic gift.  But which one? 

Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images

To help you out, two chefs in the Houston area taste-tested six popular edible erotic gifts, and ranked them from best tasting to worst.  Here’s what they found according to the Houston Press.

6)  Edible strawberry underwear.  They smell like Fruit Roll-Ups and taste like, quote, “the worst cotton candy ever.”  Plus they’re made with chemicals, and are extremely sticky.  So you might regret putting them over your naughty parts.

5)  Edible finger body paint.  One chef said, quote, “These taste like the barium shakes they make you drink before [medical tests.]  It leaves a gross film on the back of your throat.”

4)  Edible candy bra.  It looks like those candy necklaces you wore as a kid, but since the bras sit on shelves for a while, they tend to get really stale.

3)  Jawbreaker ball gag.  Both chefs liked the way the ball gag tasted in their mouth . . . quote, “[it's] like a real Jawbreaker.”  At least it’s better than rubber.

2)  Cinnamon Kama Sutra lube.  The flavor was similar to Red Hots.  The only problem was that it was advertised as a warming lube and never really warmed up.

1)  Lovers body pen set.  These body pens let you write on someone in chocolate.  Quote, “It tastes just like Nestle’s strawberry milk.  This would even taste good in large quantities.”

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